Murdoch Monthly - Bizarre Habits
14 Apr 2010 | Fox Murdoch
Creature – Engineer Human
The dream of a lot of Magic players is to design the next best thing. The next Jund, the Affinity crusher, all that jazz. The problem is that a lot of people fall into the trap of thinking they have to start from scratch. A totally new “best deck” needs a totally new start, void of previously good cards. The problem with this is that it’s faulty thinking: consider the light bulb. When it was invented, it was a brand new invention. Using electricity to create light that worked with a switch, amazing!
Course that’s not true. The light bulb is simply the newer safer version of the candle. And this one (electrical faults permitting) won’t burn down your house, nor will it trade at a value of 5 bulbs for 2 pigs. (Ahh, I remember those days…) So my point: new decks aren’t ever totally new, they’re always the latest technological advancement in the different deck “genre” of your choice.
I’ll explain quickly how I mean “genre”. Normally the term applies to movies and books, ala Horrors, Comedy, Romance, what have you. In Magic, we’ve got basically three (you could argue four if you include Rogue): Control.dec, Aggro beats and Combo. You know what you’re going to get when you hear that a deck’s combo or aggro, much like you know that you’re going to get monsters jumping at the screen in Horrors and giggles a plenty with Comedies.
I’m bringing this up because we’ve got Eldrazi on the Rise (boom boom) and with 248 new cards there’s plenty to create.
Colourless is the new Fat
Speculating on the Eldrazi and their worth and value at this point in time is kinda hard, thanks to my time machine being broken. Apologies there, but I’m sure to have something RoE relevant next month. I’m going to keep going with the idea of deck building, using an example from years ago now when Mirrodin had just come out.
12 Islands
12 Forests
-
24 lands
4 Neurok Transmuter
4 Viridan Shaman
4 Fabricate
4 Darksteel Reactor
1 Glissa Sunseeker
4 Mephidross Scorpion
4 Energy Chamber
4 Turn to Dust
4 Echoing Truth
4 Myr Landshaper
There’s the skeleton of the deck. A blue green pro anti artifact deck, who won through a 20 counter Darksteel Reactor. The game stalled by turning the opponents army into artifacts and killing them with Viridian Shaman and Glissa, as well as running some degenerate combos involving Myr Landshaper, 2 Scorpions and Glissa’s ability with an empty mana pool. (One sided Armageddon.)
I hadn’t seen the deck before, or since, and when I brought it out at casual games it did one thing: laser locked a target on my head. That Darksteel Reactor really makes casual gamers sweat, it’s a 20 turn clock though! Well assuming the Energy Chambers don’t show up.
The problem was how this deck would perform against the current tournament metagame. Awful. Getting twenty counters on Reactor hasn’t ever actually occurred, as I’d wind up dead before then even with Energy Chambers in play. I’d kill off a few creatures but the rest would get me.
The problem with the design of this deck is scope. I saw Glissa and wanted to use her, as well as Viridian Shamans deadly ability. To make sure I could do it I added the Artifact-tionest Neurok Transmuter, and that’s where the creating stopped. The rest of the cards were current, I had them and so in they went.
I was only considering my own cardpool in the ability to create, as well as having no real concern of the tournament decks, seeing from the get go I sold myself short on the idea of being able to compete. I was, I admit, one of the players who saw Arc-Slogger and thought it was awful. Nowadays, he’s in every EDH deck I can manage to get red in to.
Wonderful wonderful – but did I win the Bazaar Trader competition?
By criminy, of course! Actually, speaking of the competition is a good way to bust into a new set – and cards there in that build the next best deck – is to run little competitions on seemingly powerful but unobviously so cards, ala Bazaar Trader.
To deal with the competition, I’m going to list all the combos I received, credited to the first person who sent them in. Then I’ll take a little look at how applicable a combo is to the game (style points for funny) and the ultimate decision. Gasp! Such power, mustn’t let it go to my head!!
RedBluePlayer suggested the following:
Bazaar Trader + Immortal Coil + Relic of Progenitus
Ahh the hilarity of your opponent killing themself. With a little help from our sneaky Goblin trader (“No seriously, this Coil was once owned by Elvis!!” and emptying your opponent’s graveyard with Relic of Pro., you’ll have one very dead opponent!
This combo is Standard viable at the moment too, but the Coils costing 2BB makes it expensive, and that 1/1 Goblin body is rather weak considering the kill spells of choice. But who cares about Standard, this is casual! This was also the most common combo sent it, another variant using Bojuka Bog. While technically another “combo” of cards, it’s still the same thing.
Dewman had the following:
Bazaar Trader + Mindslaver + Ashnod’s Coupon + artifact tapper (like Icy Manipulator)
I’ll give you a moment, try to figure it out.
Got it? This combo allows you to give your opponent a tapped Ashnod’s Coupon, Mindslaver their next turn and have them buy you a drink. Say, your own Can of coke. Thanks to the errata on Ashnod’s Coupon they have to pay all costs for the drink, say maybe $50 for a can? That sounds fair right?
But wait a minute, this looks awfully familiar… where have I seen it before? Oh Mark Gottlieb, you are a genius!
Flopfoot wrote in saying:
Mindleech Mass + Mindslaver + Bazaar Trader + Final Fortune in your hand
Flopfoot wrote it best in their PM: Use Bazaar Trader to give your opponent a Mindleech Mass. Mindslaver that player. Make them hit you with the Mindleech, then make them play Final Fortune out of your hand. They get another turn and then lose the game.
They also provided some variants on the combo. You can use Phage the Untouchable instead of Final Fortune, or can Imprint Final Fortune onto a Panoptic Mirror that you ’Trade.
Pezzz044 suggested the following:
Bazaar Trader + Time Vault + Magus of the Unseen
Brilliant! Amazing! Slightly confusing? Alright here’s how it works: give Time Vault to your opponent. Now use Magus of the Unseen to take it back for 1U. It untaps as part of the Magus’ ability, allowing you to tap it for an extra turn. What are you going to do with that extra turn? Why ‘Trade that Time Vault back to your opponent and then use Magus to steal it back, of course! Extra points here for making a cool combo with older cards that allows anyone using it to “add flavour to taste,” that is insert their own favourite kill condition. Myself, I’d add Hondon of Infinite Rage for the slow roasted opponent look.
Chaos also wrote in after the end date for entry, and suggested my own combo from the previous article! This one:
Bronze Bombshell + Bazaar Trader
The combo still gets me laughing now, as I can see the planeswalker with his interest piqued at the shapely metal figure. “Why hello fair maiden,” he starts, “how may I help y—GNNNNNN!” BOOM!
Lhyviathan snuck the following in on the forums:
Bazaar Trader + Abyssal Persecutor + Diplomatic Immunity + Pacifism
Wow, talk about bureaucracy messing up a fatty’s day! This 6/6 sits like a rock who can’t swing, can’t block, can’t be picked off by anything and can’t do much more than whimper at your very angry opponent. Save any Wrath/sacrifice outlets, this guarantees victory, even at a lowly -25,341,356 life.
Our last entry comes from Miffed Moogle (actually suggested a whole heap):
Bazaar Trader + Steel Golem
Oh my the hilarity! Turn 3 and you’ve locked your opponent outta the creature game. Sure they’ve got a 3/4 Golem, but that’s gonna be it forever. Also reminds me of Grid Monitor from Mirrodin. Another from Miffed Moogle for the silver bordered fans out there…
Bazaar Trader + Fruitcake Elemental
Boom-tish! This guy deserves a pic simply for being totally hilarious.
Just ’Trade your Fruitcake Elemental to your opponent. Sure he can do it himself for a mere 3 but who wants to do that? In fact, this is silver bordered land so completely ignoring the Sensible is totally within reason. Turn 3 giving the 7/7 to your opponent is funny. They can bash for 7/7 and take 7 themselves, or try to regift it back to you when your ’Trader just hands it back with a derisive “Hell no.”
Now to the bikini swimsuit section of the competition. I mean, the judging. I’m going to award points for combo’s that stand out and do stupid things rather than the more obvious combos. There were also a lot of entries that were unusable because people had already sent them in, or they didn’t fit some other random criteria. Hey, that’s how the game goes. Enough pre-amble, the results!!
Fifth place:
Miffed Moogle with Bazaar Trader + Steel Golem
This combo ticks all the right boxes for an exciting game experience. Turn 3 you might just lock out your opponent, or deliver them with a 3/4 they can enchant with a Moldervine Cloak for the sorry-ass 6/7 beatdown. Who knows? The risk/reward of this combo really speaks to me as a gamer, especially as a watcher, and the “Will it work, wont it?” aspect is about an 8/10. Also one of the combos that didn’t use Mindslaver.
Fourth place:
Lhyviathan with Abyssal Persecutor + Pacifism + Diplomatic Immunity + Bazaar Trader
Lhyviathan’s entry feels like the silliest of the lot, more so than Dewman’s. If you took the final result, a 6/6 who said you can’t win the and opponents can’t lose it, and it can’t be targeted for anything and it can’t attack or block why, it… it just feels like such a stupid thing, don’t it? Kinda like Beta Max once VHS had established market dominance! (If you didn’t get that, welcome to someone who was born in the 80s, kids!) Made even sillier by the fact that this combo makes a Mythic that sits there and reads “I do nothing but make you not win the game.” It’s very biblical in a sense, “Active Player said ‘Let there be impotence’ and it was so.”
Third place:
Dewman with Bazaar Trader + Icy Manipulator + Mindslaver + Ashnod’s Coupon
Dewman’s entry is a classic and totally deserving of the silver bordered special one-of slot. I like silver bordered cards as much as the next Barry Bad Card, but to let silver bordered cards dominate a competition just begs for eyebleeding. (Yet Another AEther Vortex, no thank you.) The early bird gets the worm in this case, anyone could have submitted this hilarious submission.
The silver bordered entry winner is still as funny as it ever was. Make sure you sit down with a can of whatever before you start playing, and I do not in any way condone using ‘liquids’ that you wouldn’t willingly drink yourself. No “apple juice surprise.” The only other entry for the silver bordered slot was Mindslaver + Fruitcake Elemental by Miffed Moogle, who’s won a spot anyway.
Second place:
Footflop with Bazaar Trader + Mindslaver + Mindleech Mass + Final Fortune
Most tricks were permanents given to the opponent that could be fiddled with for something nasty, but this uses your own hand. Heck no wonder your opponent can’t win, sitting down to “play” a deck they have no idea how to play. Also using older cards is a gem, and I’m a total drool-bag when it comes to anything Phage-able. The big fat feeling of these four rares also makes it seem like your juggling to get your combo to go off, which adds to the excitement of playing this combo. What if they kill the Mindleech Mass just as you attack yourself with it, per se?
And finally, first place:
Pezzz044 with Bazaar Trader + Time Vault + Magus of the Unseen
To begin with I’m gonna say that Pezzz044’s combo is user friendly, in that it’s not complete. On it’s own it doesn’t win the game, it allows for that personal touch. Maybe you think plinking away every turn with an unblockable Squire is hot. Maybe you’re of the opinion that milling every turn then passing “for the win” is the way to go. I’m a big fan of myself and my own brilliant Magic ideas, so being allowed to finish my opponent my own way gets big points here. Congratulations and well done, enjoy your boosters!
And let’s wind it down, why not?
And that is rather it for this month, folks! I know, it’s shorter than usual, and yes it IS missing it’s EDH component. University is a harsh mistress at the best of times and I’m afraid she’s been most unforgiving in this matters. Not to worry though, I’ll include more EDH in a future article to make up for it, and next time around Rise of the Eldrazi will be a real thing, not a partially spoiled set that we oh-so-eagerly are waiting to crack open.
Thanks for reading!
Fox Murdoch.
For discussion.